monkey off my back

One guy's experiences as he quits drinking


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Unwanted travel companion

After 8.5 weeks, being sober has started to feel normal and part of my routine. Over the last few weeks I’ve focused on not drinking, running, and adding new activities to fill the gaps left by alcohol.

It has felt exciting and new. BUT. It’s starting to feel like a routine.

One of the reasons I liked alcohol (before it became a problem) was that it added an element of chaos and excitement to my otherwise ‘routine’ life. It was a reality enhancer and I associated it with fun and excitement.

Soon I’ll be going on a USA road-trip. I’m excited and I expect lots of new experiences, challenges and a bit of chaos. I know there will be lots of sober challenges – camping with friends, casinos in Vegas, bars in San Fran, complimentary champagne during a Grand Canyon helicopter tour.

If I’m honest, my biggest concern is camping. I have fond memories of camping, wine, friends, fireplaces and stars. I know that part of me will miss not being ‘part of the group’.

It’s probably good to worry a bit. It lets me visualise, anticipate and rehearse a few situations. I’d rather not come back from holidays without an unwanted travel companions.

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8 weeks tonight

This won’t be a big post – I just wanted to check in and say that I’ve hit 8 weeks.

While my day to day routines remain much the same, the quality of my life has improved dramatically.

 


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6.5 weeks

I had some mild wobbles last week – a few random temptations.

One night I even dreamt that I drank alcohol. In the dream I gave in to those “just this once” and “just today – you can stop again tomorrow” thoughts. When I woke up it was a bit disconcerting but not overwhelming or upsetting. I’ve been there and done that several times. One drink becomes another – one day becomes everyday and then it takes months to get back a sense of control.

Things have settled this week and alcohol has faded into the background. I’ve been busy and focused on other things. I wish all days and weeks were like this.

Nothing profound to say.